1/22/21 - Friday Forget-Me-Nots by Jim Silcott

Photo Caption: A few of our eighth graders who are to be confirmed on Sunday

Dear Our Lady of Peace Family:

This past Monday evening, Mary Jean Cashen, my late mother’s oldest sister, passed away in Baltimore, Maryland. She was 91 years old.

She leaves behind 6 children, many grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her children, my cousins, and my siblings and I were very close, especially in our youth. There was even a time when we lived a block from each other. 

When someone dies at that advanced age it is usually determined that the person died of “natural causes.” Certainly you will hear that the deceased “lived a long life.” Although there is extreme sadness over the death of my aunt in her family, particularly from her children and my one surviving Aunt Carol, who is the last remaining member of the Kreis family of Westerwald Ave, Baltimroe Maryland, there is a naturalness to Aunt Mary Jean’s passing. In messaging some of my cousins yesterday, all referred to her, finally, being in heaven and joining her parents, my mom, and her own husband, who passed away 40 years ago.

On the same night, unbeknownst to anyone, a young 23 year old woman with a life time of opportunities and dreams ahead of her, died tragically in a parking garage accident in downtown Columbus. She wasn’t discovered until Tuesday morning. That afternoon, her good friend, my daughter, got the news that Victoria had died.

Victoria had just buried her grandmother less than two weeks ago and her father less than two years ago. There was nothing natural about her passing and she certainly did not get to lead a long life. 

My son, Braden, called me after school on Tuesday to tell me about Victoria’s death. I immediately called Bethany. As a parent you feel every hurt and emotion that your children feel no matter their age. You are conditioned to give fatherly advice, to console, to assist, to say warm and sometimes unconvincing platitudes such as “It will be alright.” But in that conversation I could offer no words. Even my faith in God and His promise of eternal life, seemed to be missing at that moment. This was a tragedy beyond my understanding and ability to explain to my daughter.

Contemplating the deaths of my aunt and my daughter’s friend, possibly at the same time on Monday reminds me that our understanding of life is sometimes as foggy as my glasses are these days when wearing the masks that are a part of our every day existence. Young people die of accidents and disease. They just buried the oldest living ex-Marine at the age of 107. I have known couples who have had to say good bye to their babies because of the suddenness of SIDS. I know fellow bicyclists who ride longer and faster than I do in their eighties.

The pandemic contributes to this mystery. To date, 400,000 people have died because of COVID or a complication related to it. Many more have contracted the virus only to sit home for ten days and binge on Netflix with nothing but a runny nose. It is all so frightfully random.

I am so thankful, even when my faith is shaken by things I can’t comprehend, that I have a faith to be shaken. I believe that all of us, whether it is my Aunt Mary Jean or my daughter’s friend, Victoria, live on with God and are, as my cousin Michael told me, “In a better place.” When our loved ones or we ourselves go to that better place is the great mystery of our existence. And when someone is taken “before their time,” we question the fairness of that passing. Regardless of age, we mourn and we miss those who have passed from our lives and we hope that when it is our time that we too will be mourned and missed.

I do know this. Christ’s message to us, while we are here is quite simple and profound. “Love one another.” Not just when we get around to it, or when the sun is shining and the birds are singing. Love one another every day, with every opportunity we have, in whatever we can to whomever we can, whether family or friend or foe. Try to look past all the junk, all the distractions, all the pettiness and embrace each day and each person with whom we come in contact. Our life time, no matter the length, is but a moment in time to be embraced, to be cherished and to be appreciated.

Jim Silcott