9/6/24 - Friday Forget-Me-Nots by Jim Silcott

Photo Caption: Sixth Grade ELA with Ms. Gualtieri

Dear Our Lady of Peace Family,

In these last few weeks of August, we have experienced four deaths in the Our Lady of Peace School family. I am so grateful to be in a Catholic school when our families lose a loved one. 

Just before school, Mrs. Kathy McMahon lost her mother. On August 25, Edlie Exume lost her brother, Edy, who was ten years of age. On August 26, Mrs. Erin Meats said goodbye to her father. That same day, Mrs. Debbie Duke experienced the death of her daughter, Angela. 

The circumstances were all different, as well as the ages of those who died. But all these families grieve their loved ones. When each family was asked what was needed of them, each one said that prayers were what was most needed. Of course, we have prayed for them as a school community as well as individually. 

When a tragedy strikes, we read and hear statements on the news from civic leaders that “our thoughts are with the families.” Some are courageous enough to add the word “prayers” to the statement. “Our thoughts and prayers are with the families.” I don’t judge whether those remarks are sincere or merely the right thing to say, but I do know the power of prayer in our lives, and I do know that as people of faith, when we say that we will pray for someone, we really mean it. 

In the Catholic Church, two concrete ways to punctuate our prayers for families who have suffered a death are the lighting of candles and having a Mass said in the deceased person’s memory. This does not take the place of actually praying for them, but it gives us a focus in our prayers. Taking just a moment to light a candle and communicate with our God, or attending the Mass which includes the special intention, is an outward sign of our internal prayer. But, of course, praying for someone can be done anywhere and at any time. 

On Fridays, in our morning school prayer we pray for the intentions in our prayer book which sits in our lobby. We also ask that each student and teacher take a moment to think about someone who has asked them to pray for them, or simply someone for whom we wish to pray. 

How do we pray specifically for a family who has lost someone? I don’t pretend to be the authority here but what I do is pray for healing and comfort. I also pray for a strengthening of their faith. When I have lost a loved one, there are times when my faith is sorely tested. I watched my father ponder this when my mother died. In the years between her passing and his death, he often asked of me, “Do you really think that I will see your Mom when I die?” Dad was a man of great faith but losing his wife of 62 years shook him up badly. 

And so I pray that we may all see the Face of God one day and be reunited with our loved ones. And I take comfort in the fact that I work in a community that is centered around Jesus Christ and that we can pray together, out loud, and that we can do things for families suffering, and that we can witness through our classroom windows people attending funerals in our church, and that, most especially that our children learn that our prayers are faith giving and sustaining for times like these that are sad as well as in times that are blessed. 

Jim Silcott