2/24/23 - Friday Forget-Me-Nots by Jim Silcott

Photo Caption: Mardi Gras!

Dear Our Lady of Peace Family,

One of the complaints that I hear from time to time about not only Our Lady of Peace but schools in general is how much better things were in the old days. “Kids had more respect back then,” they say. “Sister (fill in the blank with name) taught 55 students in the same room and you could have heard a pin drop.” “Cell phones are turning our children’s brains into mush. Back in my day life was simpler and a darn sight better!”

As an official senior citizen there are certainly days where I too become that grumpy old man who yearns for the good old days and is convinced that the generations that have come up in the ranks after me are just not as good or tough or resilient as people my age and older.

A look back at history, however, finds old people throughout history complaining about youth. Consider this quote from the year 1695: … I find by sad Experience how the Towns and Streets are filled with lewd wicked Children, and many Children as they have played about the Streets have been heard to curse and swear and call one another Nick-names, and it would grieve ones Heart to hear what bawdy and filthy Communications proceeds from the Mouths of such…” How about this tirade against books and plays in 1790: The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth…

Finally, guess what evil activity is being condemned in 1858:

…is a mere amusement of a very inferior character, which robs the mind of valuable time that might be devoted to nobler acquirements … they require out-door exercises–not this sort of mental gladiatorship. The terrible pastime to which the esteemed magazine Scientific American was referring to? The playing of chess!

When my older children tell me what dumb things I did or said as their father when they were growing up, I tell them that I have no recollection of the incidents they are describing. And I’m not lying. As I look back both on my children’s youth as well as my own, I only remember the good times. Even times of trouble get engulfed in a sort of a rosy haze of pleasantry. As I look back on my long educational career I have had many no good, horrible days. But they, too, in their recollection become, at best funny anecdotes with which I can bore people.

I am not naïve enough to think that in 2023 our children don’t face pressures and concerns that we who are their parents and teachers worry about. I know that some things children face can indeed traumatize them into adulthood. It is these serious occurrences with which we should focus on and help them in their healing. But on other complaints, we, and I include myself in that first person plural pronoun, need to simply lighten up.

Kids are kids. Kids have always been kids and always will be kids. The evils of playing chess have been replaced by the evils of too much time with a video game. The passing of notes and the monopolizing of the hallway telephone have given way to texts and snapchat. Of course it is our job to try and keep our children on the straight and narrow. They can be lost without our nagging and worry. But if we concentrate on the basics: love of God, themselves, and others, they do tend to turn out okay. We did!

So, the next time you feel that western civilization has decayed beyond repair because your son’s room is a holy mess or when I spot a student in the hallway with a sweatshirt that is not uniform approved and am convinced that I have lost all order and control at Our Lady of Peace, let’s take a breath and smile, knowing that the child in front of us is healthy and safe, and thank our God for him. And one day he will grow up and insist to whatever young person is in front of him that he always kept his room clean and was a perfect angel in school!

Jim Silcott